Gok Wan slams London rioters’ for their dress sense

Fashion guru Gok Wan was particularly critical of the poor adherence to 70’s chic, ‘Being on the world’s TV screens is a great opportunity for British fashion, so I’m particularly disappointed that people have failed to make an effort. We were expecting flowing denims, long hair and bohemian looks; resorting to a 1973-style Provo IRA balaclava really doesn’t cut it.’

Equally critical was Vivienne Westwood, ‘It’s shocking to see women throwing Molotov cocktails completely hidden under hoodies and tracksuit bottoms, which they seem to be stealing even more of. My advice to them, when they make their court appearances, is to enhance their figures with tight PVC and leather undergarments.’

The only positive comment came from Ann Summer’s Jacqueline Gold. ‘Seeing the cops strolling around menacingly and then beating protestors to a pulp has resulted in bumper demand for police outfits, nurses costumes, handcuffs and, of course, our vibrating truncheons.’

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Posted: Aug 9th, 2011 by

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