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Southern Rail ‘to put woman on Moon’ by 2015

Southern Railway has announced a bold plan to put a person on the Moon by 2015. Service Delivery Director James Burt said ‘a colleague has worked out that if you piled up all the discarded copies of the Metro and Evening Standard you could make a very high tower indeed.’

The plan involves complaints handler Wendy Sanders standing on the top of the pile while bundles of newspapers and essential supplies are delivered by a rope which goes over the top and is pulled down from the other side. Eventually the pile will become so high that the gravitational pull of the Moon takes over and Ms Sanders floats gently down to its surface.

Asked about what plans there were to bring her back, Mr Burt said Wendy should have planned ahead and bought a ticket before travelling, and that she would now have to pay the full cost of the return trip. ‘It’s too late now I’m afraid. I’m sure someone will make an announcement to keep her informed, in the usual way.’

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Posted: Aug 12th, 2011 by Des Custard

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