Satan branded ‘Neighbour From Hell’

A newly arrived Isle of Wight resident calling himself ‘Satan, the Devil, the Prince of Darkness’, has been dubbed ‘the neighbour from hell’ by locals.

The comfortable Shanklin bungalow of elderly couple Jack and Edith Morris has been turned upside down by the goings-on at number 666.  ‘I never put my washing out on the line nowadays’ says Edith;  ‘It all ends up smelling of sulphur. It comes from his pond you see.  Well… I say pond, it’s more of a lake really’.  ‘It’s on fire!’ exlaims Jack ‘…and a cloud of sulphur-rich smoke blows constantly across our garden’.

Other residents have confirmed the ‘Neighbour from Hell’ tag.  The Swanson’s at number 668 attempted to complain about the constant blood-curdling screams, but Mr. Satan  turned their dog into a winged, fire-breathing demon. ‘Poor Barney has never been the same since’ says Edith shaking her head.

‘He is all we ever talk about at the Neighbourhood Watch meetings’ muses Edith dipping a digestive biscuit into her tea. ‘I’m a reasonable man,’ said Jack. ‘So I tried to ask Mr Satan politely ‘How long do you plan to carry on like this?’ but he just chuckled to himself and looked away…’

UnoEye (hat tip to Oxbridge)

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Posted: Aug 15th, 2011 by

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