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Parents of A-Level loser plan own gap year

taking the slow boat to PalookavilleFollowing his disastrous A level results, the parents of James Ardingly have decided to take a year out while he works for his re-sits next summer.

The couple had the idea after seeing the cheap deals available as many students chose to abandon planned gap years in favour of going to University before next year’s fee increases.

‘We scrimped and saved to buy that boy the best education possible and this is how he rewards us,’ said his father, John, 47, from the family home in Canterbury. ‘It was bad enough James missing out on both his choices, but what really hurt was receiving an offer through clearing from London Metropolitan University.’

Arguments about their son’s progress had brought John and his wife Linda close to divorce but this opportunity has reunited them. John will take voluntary redundancy and some undeclared stock from his job at the doomed Pfizer site in Sandwich, while Linda will quit her job in riot control at a Ramsgate secondary school. The number of Facebook party invitations has fallen considerably.

Having let out their house for a year, the couple say they intend to do every continent, try anything at least once and just chill generally, but tour company operators fear the worst. ‘We normally get away with awful facilities, some ladyboys and a bit of bungee jumping,’ said a representative. ‘We know sod all about the actual countries themselves, but this lot are checking Trip Advisor, insisting on edible food and expecting a detailed itinerary.

‘The kids don’t even wake up on the on the overland trip to Gibraltar to get to Africa, never mind drink, but their parents are demanding to take in Champagne, Burgundy and Bordeaux at no extra cost before we even leave France. They wanted Tours as well, but it’s obvious that they’d be too pissed and too busy trying to cop off with each other to even bother looking round.’

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Posted: Aug 27th, 2011 by Des Custard

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