Following David Walliams’ announcement that he will swim the length of the Thames in just eight day for this year’s Big Splash extravaganza, his comedy partner Matt Lucas has revealed that he will also be heading for the waters of the Thames at the weekend to play his part in the fundraising event.
‘On 3rd September Matt will be lowered into the river using hydraulic lifting gear at a point just north of New Charlton and will straddle the Thames for the next ten days,’ said his agent. ‘He will spend his time repelling flood tides and rising water levels completely unaided, using nothing but his own impressive girth.’
Lucas’s plan has not met with universal approval, unfortunately. Many lovers of good comedy are insisting that a mere ten day’s damming lacks ambition, and that with repairs to the Thames Flood Barrier long overdue, much could be gained by leaving Lucas in the river as a permanent fixture.