‘There is absolutely no place for this type of bigotry in the modern game,’ said Barry Jones, the FA’s new climate change guru and leading light in the zero-tolerance community. ‘We’ve come a long way since the days when it was considered acceptable for players and fans to joke about holes in the ozone layer and melting ice caps, but now we need to stamp it out for good.’
In recent years many football fans have reported their Saturday afternoons being blighted by an uneducated minority who pollute the stands with their anti-science chants. Global warming deniers have long taunted opposition fans with chants such as ‘You’re not singeing anymore’, and, in a reference to rising sea levels, ‘You only sing when you’re swimming’. Meanwhile West Country teams such as Yeovil Town, where there is a large wind turbine community, have been subject to abusive chants like ‘You can stick your fucking windmills up your arse’.
The FA’s campaign builds on research they conducted that found a clear link between the Holocaust, racism and scepticism towards claims by solar panel and wind turbine marketing managers. There are now fears that many of the top premier league players, who come from nations like Spain and Germany where photovoltaic technology is streets ahead of our own, could boycott English football in disgust.
‘At the end of the day these climate change deniers are all cowards,’ continued Jones. ‘They’re happy to dish it out, but if you ask one of them to back up their chants with empirical evidence, they soon back down. ‘I’m not a climate change denier,’ they’ll say. ‘Some of my best friends are leading research climatologists with an unshakeable belief in man-made climate change.’ Well, from now on they’ll be telling that to the judge.’
He added: ‘It’s no exaggeration to say that Britain could soon be flooded then burned to a crisp while everyone gets skin cancer. Is that what you want for our young footballers? Because that’s what will happen.’
ronseal (hat-tip to rickwestwell)