A source close to the nodding bulldog from Churchill insurance’s adverts has revealed that the iconic star has checked into a clinic to deal with severe depression. The condition is believed to have been brought on by the fact that nobody seems to believe a word he says, or take his tales of celebrity encounters and extreme sporting activities seriously.
‘Churchy’s family seem to have turned against him, he doesn’t know why but they just laugh at him every time he tells them what he’s been up to, and accuse him of making it up.’ said the source, ‘Things have got so bad that he’s taken to carrying a video camera with him everywhere he goes, and filming even the most mundane activities, like a curry with a friend, but they’re not interested. They just ignore him when he tries to show them evidence that he’s telling the truth, and it’s been getting him down for a while. I’m starting to really worry about him.’
This is not the first time that Churchill has suffered from psychological problems. When he first came to prominence in the mid-90s he initially struggled to deal with the spotlight of fame and the media intrusion, and developed a form of agoraphobia, only feeling comfortable in the house or sat on the parcel shelf of a car, where he would sit for hours, happily nodding to himself, and occasionally muttering ‘ooohhhhhh yes’.
With the help of extensive counselling he overcame those problems and began to live life to the full, making celebrity friends, such as Roy Walker, entering tug-of-war contests and taking part in extreme sporting activities including sky-diving. But when he told his family about his exploits they refused to believe him, thinking that he was making it all up in order to get attention.
‘I know some of what he’s done sounds implausible,’ continued his friend, ‘who wouldn’t be sceptical if you told them that you’d landed in a porcupine farm during a sky-dive? Why would anybody farm porcupines anyway, can you milk them or something? But the thing that has really got to him is that he has video evidence of it all, and they still don’t believe him.’
When questioned about the story and confronted with the suggestion that her actions may be the cause of Churchill’s problems, his owner and co-star Amanda Wilcox replied ‘I wouldn’t believe everything he says – just the other day he claimed that he was in a downward spiral of depression with no positives in his life, no end in sight, and was considering taking a massive overdose of painkillers.’