Following Dr David Starkey’s declaration on Newsnight that the white population from Tottenham to Clapham has now ‘integrated into the pervasive black Gangsta culture’, the Welsh Language Society – with its long experience of protest campaigns – has been advising this community on how to have Gangsta recognised as an official language by the UK and EU authorities.
The aim of the campaign is to make it compulsory for public sector documents such as council tax demands, voting cards, and benefit forms to be made available in Gangsta as well as English, to be followed by bilingual utility bills and eventually all forms of written communication, including street signage. Official Gangsta interpreters will be used in court proceedings. Schools will be able to choose whether to impart education wholly in Gangsta or in English. Those that choose to teach in English will be obliged to offer GCSEs in Gangsta As A Second Language to all pupils.
Gagsta speakers are also promised their own independent Gangsta television channel, to be called C4G, despite suggestions that not all Gangsta speakers can afford a new digital HD television. ‘That hasn’t stopped them from getting one’ commented one local policeman.