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R Kelly finally concedes that he probably can’t fly

R&B singer, songwriter and producer R Kelly has finally admitted after 15 years that he can’t, in fact, fly.  The American music star had repeatedly stated over the last decade and a half that he believed he could ‘spread my wings and fly away’, despite being told by concerned friends and family members that he didn’t actually have wings, and almost definitely couldn’t touch the sky.

‘I’m glad that he’s finally come around,’ said one former employee.  ‘There were several times when I had to fetch him down from the roof and say to him ‘Listen R, if you’re so sure that it’s as easy as believing it and being able to do it, then why not at least take off from the ground?’

Mr Kelly is said to be relieved to have seen sense when it comes to belief in his aerial abilities, and thankful that nobody got hurt.

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Posted: Oct 5th, 2011 by Vertically Challenged Giant

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