There are fears that Tiny Tots nursery in Newport may be forced to close today on safety grounds after a small group of 4 year olds barged past Mrs Briggs on security, sat on the floor managing to look grumpy and at the same time a little bit pleased with themselves, and refused to move away from the fire exit. At the heart of the protest is the fact that Archie over there seems to have everything they don’t have, and just once in a while they would like to have a little play with his remote controlled car.
Attempts by staff to distract the group by getting them to take part in colouring in, doing a bit of scribbling, or having a sing-song have so far been unsuccessful and the message that hard work and encouragement will of themselves bring them pleasure in life fell on deaf ears because Archie’s got a fantastic remote controlled car, and they’d really, really like a go on it.
After several hours of peaceful dissent things became tense when self-appointed leader of the protest, Tom, aged 4, lay face down on the floor and thumped it with his little fists and did his bestest, loudest scream. Calm was only restored when Miss Thomas persuaded him to go to the toilet while the others held the fort, which had ‘big towers on it and dinosaurs and everything’, according to Tommy’s heightened protesting imagination. But, he conceded sadly, even that was nowhere near as good as Archie’s amazing remote controlled car.
After much persuasion by Head of Cutting and Gluing Paper, Miss Armitage, Archie finally agreed to let the others have a go. But only on condition they gave him all their lunch, all their sweets and their favourite teddy bears which he’d lend back to them later for short periods in exchange for a bag of Haribos each time.
‘He’s going to be just like his father,’ said Miss Armitage, ‘Successful, powerful and a complete and utter shit.’