NewsBiscuit

The UK’s population will hit 70m in 2027 with the arrival of a bouncing baby boy called Arnaud Beaumont; the son of Agnes Simpson (currently nine years old, from Sheffield) and Jacques Beaumont (currently eleven years old, from Marseille).

The child will not be circumcised but will need a minor operation to correct a webbed toe.

The birth was announced by the National Office of Statistics, who made their projection using a calculator, some dice and a keen sense of how to make the headlines.

‘We’d like to welcome Arnaud to our society, although we’re not yet absolutely certain he’ll be the 70 millionth citizen.’ admitted a spokesperson.

‘It all depends on whether Agnes really does fall in love with Jacques’s home town of Provence on May 15th 2022 at 4.27pm and decide to extend her vacation there.’

Posted: Oct 27th, 2011 by waylandsmithy