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7,000,000,000th visitor to planet plagued by annoying pop-up offering free prizes

will lots of people please just dieAfter the world population ticked round to 6,999,999,999 earlier today, the parents of the next baby to be born have reported their child being continually harassed by a computer pop-up reading ‘Congratulations! You are the 7,000,000,000th visitor to this planet. Click here to claim your free prize!’

‘It started as soon as our little Florence was born,’ said proud mother Patience Kodjo, a resident of Sokodé in central Togo. ‘I didn’t even know the town hospital had a computer, but suddenly a doctor appeared and told the midwife there was a pop-up he couldn’t get rid of. When we saw it was offering a free prize for the seven billionth human, we realised it must be for Florence. I’d wondered if we might get some kind of memento to mark the occasion, but I imagined a more personal ceremony than clicking on a link to claim it.’

Hospital staff were initially reluctant to click on the pop-up due to an unfortunate incident earlier in the year when they’d lost a lot of money trying to secure the transfer of funds for much-needed medical equipment from the Nigerian royal family. ‘Each time they tried to close the pop-up it just re-appeared again,’ said Emmanuel Kodjo, Florence’s father. ‘Eventually I persuaded them to click on the link and it turns out Florence is guaranteed either a Playstation 3 or an iPad 2. None of us have any idea what those things are, but I’m hoping we can trade them for a goat.’

Emmanuel is now saving his next two months’ wages from the cocoa plantation where he works in order to call a premium-rate international number to claim his daughter’s prize. ‘I’ve even opened a bank account because the webpage told me to have my details to hand when I call.’

Although things are looking rosy for Florence and her family, the same can’t be said for the computer in Sokodé hospital which hasn’t been working since staff clicked on the pop-up. ‘They think it’s got a virus,’ said Emmanuel. ‘But then Florence left the hospital with Yellow Fever, so they can’t really complain.’

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Posted: Oct 30th, 2011 by NewsBiscuit

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