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Archive for October, 2011

ITV working on new Viking detective series; Inspector Norse

Inspector Norse will follow the fortunes of a grumpy, middle-aged Viking as he investigates cases of pillage, rape and pig-theft in the hamlet of Oxford.

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Posted: Oct 24th, 2011
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On-the-run Manchester United found cowering in Wythenshawe storm drain

nowhere else left to hide from the humiliationIt was an ignominous end to a brutal tyranny which has blighted the Premier League for over 42 years, but Manchester United have finally been caught cowering in a storm drain in Wythenshawe, the place of their birth.

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Posted: Oct 23rd, 2011
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New Apple boss admits defeat and quits

Fruit manager, Juliette Cavaillier, has admitted her best efforts to motivate her department of apples have come up short, and has labelled the fruit ‘completely unresponsive’.

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Posted: Oct 23rd, 2011
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Offenders urged to do community service first, then commit crime

Michael Jeffries, an unemployed man from Manchester, is today due to complete 200 hours of community service in order that he can punch his neighbour in the face next week.

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Posted: Oct 22nd, 2011
More from UK News



Basque separatist group ETA cease operations having failed to gain ‘initial-only recognition’

‘Why couldn’t you once just say ‘ETA’?’ asked Basque separatist group ETA leader Garikoitz Aspiazu Rubina, in an emotional plea to the world’s media to afford them the same status as the IRA, the KGB and JLS, all referred to by their three letter acronyms without any explanation.

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Posted: Oct 22nd, 2011
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