Lord Gaga of Winchester has called time on the raucous behaviour by his ‘vulgar colonial’ wife, which have tarnished the family name. The scandal only came to His Lordship’s ears last week because his club does not take the penny dreadfuls that have avidly covered Her Ladyship’s wilful conduct.
Lady Gaga has not been seen in public since Lord Gaga dragged her off a music hall stage, horsewhipped the evidently foreign dancers who came to her aid and manhandled her into a waiting carriage. She has been taken to the family-owned sanatorium to undergo treatment by laudanum and electric shock therapy to cure her instatiable demands for attention.
In a statement issued by his fellow club member Sir Mix-A-Lot, Lord Gaga has said that the family wishes for privacy at this difficult time and that any trespassing members of the press would be shot by the groundsman.