In an embarrassing slip up during a televised primary debate, Rick Perry, Governor of Texas and hopeful for the Republican 2012 presidential nomination, yesterday temporarily forgot the name of the country of which he hopes to become the next leader.
‘If there’s one thing this country needs,’ Perry told his audience, ‘it’s a President who has clear values and a clear vision of where our nation is heading. And that is what I offer the people of…, the people of… Oh boy, just give me a minute, will you?’
A flustered Perry then groped about in vain for the name of the world’s most prominent superpower which it has always been his dream to lead. ‘It was on the tip of my tongue then it suddenly went. It’s not Canada is it? No, of course it’s not, I’m just kidding with you. Mexico, got to be. No? Really? But there’s so many of them about. Jeez, well where the hell are we, then? Look, can I come back to you on that?’
Although Perry later remembered that it was the USA he hoped to become President of, there were signs that the memory problem may be spreading after his backers and campaign staff suddenly couldn’t recall the name of the candidate they were going to vote for.
Perry’s gaffe gave new impetus to Newt Gingrich’s campaign which has now been endorsed by Union Leaders, although concerns remain over whether he is fit to lead the GOP after his view that ‘Obama is out of touch with the way the world works’, bounced around the room awhile, stuck its tongue out and landed squarely back on his face after he couldn’t find an answer to a journalist’s question on exactly which ‘world’ he was referring to.
Ultimately, as one by one the prospective candidates fall by the wayside, the 2012 republican presidential nomination seems to be whittling down to the last remaining icon of the American conservative right. Behind the scenes, and with a sense of desparation, pragmatic true-blood Republican coordinators such as Diego Kowalski have already abandoned the possibility of a credible human candidate and begun the search for a suitable slice of apple pie, cooked by someone’s Mom, to take the Democrats on.
‘It’s either that or something equally, proudly American,’ added Kowalski, ‘like the good, white, upstanding American turkey Obama just pardoned on Thanksgiving.’