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Archive for November, 2011

Music industry declares victory over home taping

After 30 years of bitter struggle, music industry representatives today claimed victory for their campaign ‘Home taping is killing music – and it’s illegal’. No C90 tapes at all have been sold at WH Smiths this year

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Posted: Nov 23rd, 2011
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Tesco officially owns ‘every-fuckin’-thing’

Tesco CEO Sir Terry Leahy has announced that, after completing the acquisition of the Co-Op and the Happy Garden Chinese takeaway in Bromsgrove, it now owns every-fuckin’-thing in the whole fuckin’ country.

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Posted: Nov 23rd, 2011
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iPhone 4S recall notice issued after Siri app develops attitude problem

'Is there an app for that?'Apple have been forced to recall thousands of units of the iPhone 4S after complaints from users that the Siri app had become unhelpful, rude, and in extreme cases, had called in anonymous tips about the phone’s owner to the anti-terrorist hotline.

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Posted: Nov 22nd, 2011
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Teacher defends driving golf balls at children

‘If a kid in my class doesn’t know that a golfball with 350 dimples employs a Magnus Lift, well, he deserves a 7-iron towards the knackers,’ said Archibald McAughtrie (Handicap 18).

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Posted: Nov 22nd, 2011
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Committees to take up job of declaring people dead

Following an increase in the death rate among people forced into poverty, the government has announced plans to switch the job of declaring people dead from doctors to an independent team of assessors.

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Posted: Nov 22nd, 2011
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