The arrival of the pandas Sweetie and Sunshine has delighted the Scots, but the Chinese are said to be puzzled by the reciprocal arrival of a rare and temperamental British specimen almost certainly on the brink of extinction.
‘Clarkson will certainly try and mate while he is in China,’ his keeper promised. ‘It is in his nature to find one or more females and try and mate with them as quickly as he can, though unlike pandas the pairing is unlikely to last. Whether it would be fair to release any offspring into the wild is another question.’
Before his arrival a wave of Clarksonmania hit China, with Chinese students of English eager to learn new phrases like ‘train jumper’, ‘Cotswolds set’, ‘minor public school’ and ‘hate figure’. Clarkson too was said to be looking forward to his visit to China. ‘With its high pollution levels and uncluttered roads it will be perfect. Plus the Chinese government and I have very similar views on shooting strikers.’