The police have warned members of the public to stay indoors after a Jeremy Paxman escaped from his enclosure in the Newsnight studio and is roaming wild in the streets of London.
‘The Paxman is an aggressive beast, especially when it believes someone is trying to dodge a question,’ said a police spokesman. ‘He is identifiable by his look of mocking disbelief, and under no circumstances should be approached. The public are in danger of receiving cutting remarks about their understanding of macro-economics or level of classical education.’
Johnny Morris, the BBC’s head presenter keeper, explained: ‘In the wild a Paxman is a peace-loving herbivore, but having been fed a diet of second-rate politicians and hapless students he has become a raging carnivore.’
This escape is part of an ongoing security problem at the BBC following a breakout from the Fiona Bruce enclosure last year. Luckily no one was hurt, and viewing figures for Antiques Roadshow increased significantly.