Nicolas Sarkozy, Angela Merkel and David Cameron stunned their European partners last night by announcing that France and Germany will abandon the euro and join the pound.
‘In hindsight combining both stable and weak economies to form the euro was a bad idea,’ conceded the German Chancellor. ‘It would be a bit like inviting a dozen people from the nearest sink estate to become joint holders on your bank account.’
To celebrate the monetary union the Royal Mint will introduce new banknotes which welcome Britain’s new European allies. ‘The new ten pound note will depict both Basil Fawlty goose-stepping and a goalmouth scene showing that Geoff Hurst’s second goal in 1966 never actually crossed the line, while the five pound note will show a monkey waving a white flag and eating cheese.’
George Osborne today confirmed that in honour of the present state of the British economy, the new extended area covered by the currency would be known as Poundland.
GreenCross (with hat-tips to dvo4fun, John Ffitch-Rucker and Dorset)