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Panasonic unveils new Eurozone crisis-ready TV

Electronics giant Panasonic has entered the Christmas sales war by launching its most advanced television set yet. The product features new Eurozone crisis-ready technology, including a fixed banner with the words “EUROZONE CRISIS” along the bottom of the screen, regardless of channel.

‘In 2012, consumers will want to feel more connected and in-touch than ever before,’ said Panasonic managing director Makoto Uenoyama. ‘The best way to do this is simply to remind them all the time how dreadful the economic outlook is, so our new sets come with this depressing news ticker pre-installed and constantly visible, even when you are watching Frozen Planet or Emmerdale.’

The new devices also include 3D technology and ultra-high resolution displays. ‘Now our viewers don’t just have to watch the European Union crumbling to dust, they can actually see the individual drops of sweat on Sarkozy’s brow and the growing wrinkles of Angela Merkel’s turgid frown in vibrant detail.’

Added Uenoyama: ‘They are 3D too, so that you actually feel that you are standing among the flags outside the European parliament as they are taken down one by one, starting with the Union Jack. It’s an experience like no other – except maybe the World War One scenes in Downton Abbey.’

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Posted: Dec 12th, 2011 by The Paper Ostrich

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