Music industry admits: ‘We’ve run out of songs’

The music industry has today conceded that the reason all modern songs sound the same is because they ran out of new songs more than a decade ago.

‘The issue we have across all genres is that we’ve run out of note combinations,’ said an industry insider. ‘We have a total of 12 notes at our disposal, but note combinations are like oil – eventually you use them all up and have no more. What we are left with is the music equivalent of wind farms. It means well, and may even look good, but the output is a bit weak. I mean, have you ever actually listened to Scouting for Girls?’

It is believed the last remaining note combinations were used up by Bjork in the 90’s, with critics proclaiming her music as ‘new’, ‘experimental’ and ‘shit’.

But Simon Cowell denies that running out of original songs will be a problem. ‘There’s loads of classic songs that I own the rights to, and thankfully the talentless morons we need to murder them are a naturally renewable resource.’

Perks (hat-tip to waylandsmithy)

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Posted: Dec 14th, 2011 by

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