A young single mother from Hounslow, West London has apologised after yesterday’s mass internet disruption, blamed on a tweet she posted early yesterday morning claiming that Justin Bieber was gay.
Sally Pinnock, 26, claimed she had no idea that her posting would have such dramatic consequences. The mother of two young girls, Beckieee (7) and Shazzam (4), went on to explain exactly what happened.
‘I apologise profusely for the problems caused by my ill-informed tweet yesterday. I had no idea that not only were my words upsetting to true Bieber fans, but by adjusting the TCP packet containing the tweet with a negative SYN value that it might somehow invalidate the ARP cache in my ISP’s routers, leading to a possible buffer overrun, race condition and severe packet loss for all network users. I compounded this accidental error by appending seventy-two bytes of hexadecimal code to my tweet which seemed to have triggered a previously unknown vulnerability in Cisco’s IOS router code, leading to unauthorised yet silent privilege escalation and hijack of eight of the core DNS servers for the .COM network. In addition, after carelessly using Photoshop to create a naked image of Bieber with well-known British TV comedian, Harry Hill, I may have by chance discovered a bug in Adobe’s JPEG discrete cosine transformation code, as the resultant JPEG file by pure chance contained rogue executable code that somehow managed to build a botnet of around 150,000 compromised Windows XP and Vista computers by around lunchtime.’
‘I assure everyone that I have learned from this, and in future, I will keep my thoughts to myself, however I must add that I still think Bieber takes it up the bumhole **ATX++++cf74f3e797a4a3d0b040b89419c.’