In a surprise move, sofa retailer DFS announced today they are all set to buck the national trend of economic doom and gloom. The peddler of softwood, foam and velour seating confirmed that plans are well advanced to launch a massive cut price sale. Photographs of disconcertingly small lounging adults and children have been taken and advertising space has already been booked to carry uplifting messages of substantial savings across the range of comfortable armchairs, and two and three seaters, some in leather.
‘DFS is leading the way forward by jump-starting Britain’s economy,’ said a spokesperson. ‘This sale proves Britain is ready to lead Europe out of the doldrums and onto higher, greener, more comfortable and better padded pastures.’
Concerns that the newly slashed prices would spark a consumer riot in DFS Dewsbury where the same sofas have been on sale at the higher prices for over 28 days have been played down as it turns out that no-one actually went in and bought one.