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Scientists claim 2013 may have shortest February on record

predictions made after consulting horoscopesResearchers at the Institute for Applied Theoretics, in Basel, France, claim that climate change is increasing the risk of shorter Februaries, and predict that in 2013 the month will be exceptionally short.

‘February, unlike most other months, is known to drift over time and can be affected by a range of climactic and meteorological factors,’ explained the lead researcher. ‘While a traditional February usually oscillates between 28 and 29 days, it’s now known that during the last ice age Februaries of up to 34 days were not uncommon. We can only assume that a dramatic shortening of February is the direct result of man’s impact on the environment.’

However, the research findings have immediately been challenged by climate change sceptics who claim that leaked emails show the figures have been selectively chosen and that 2012 will almost certainly have the longest February of the decade so far.

‘February is following a natural rhythmic cycle and there is absolutely no evidence that carbon emissions have any impact on the length of this month,’ argued Elias Jones from the Exxon Institute for Climatic Chronology, based in Salt Lake City, Utah. ‘It’s absurd to suggest that a spot of man-made pollution could affect the time we have on this planet.’

‘This whole thing is just as much of a conspiracy as the arguments against creationism,’ continued Jones. ‘I don’t know what anyone finds so hard to follow. The Earth was created on 29 February in a Leap Year and so is only a quarter of the age that these Big Bang fanatics claim.’

29th December 2011

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Posted: Dec 29th, 2011 by bonjonelson

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