UK spirit producers have welcomed the announcement of the 2012 Paralytic Games squad in advance of the gigantic drinking contest which will take place in London.
Fans of the 400 mls are delighted that Joe Beckwith from Croydon will be at the helm of this important event. ‘Joe has proved in training that he can drink 400 mls of unbranded vodka in less than ten seconds followed by a whisky chaser, and is virtually guaranteed a gold medal in this prestigious event’ said Brian Carter of the official binge drinking team.
Jumping events, usually the Achilles heel of paralytic sports, are also expected to offer new medal hopes with the ‘Stan the can’ from Glasgow who regularly jumps up to the fourth row at Costco to reach the discounted Tennents Super. The team is hoping to build on the example set by Paula Radcliffe in the 10m urinating competition, and although it’s unlikely to be snowing, would be able to write their own names with great clarity should the weather turn nasty.