Two pandas recently incarcerated in an Edinburgh zoo are to be released on compassionate grounds after one of them was found to be suffering from terminal prostate cancer. The animals, destined to spend the rest of their lives behind bars after being found guilty of ‘looking really cute’ could be released as early as next week.
Posted: Dec 28th, 2011
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Music fans are braced for a trip down memory lane on New Year’s Day, as 6music announced it will exclusively play old C90s for 24 hours. The decision was made after nearly 5 working audio cassettes were discovered in a shoebox decorated with Smash Hits stickers, it’s believed one still has the holes on top filled with chewed bits of card, to allow recording.
Posted: Dec 28th, 2011
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Sociologists have predicted that the number of novels about academics trying to bring down ancient, clandestine groups which have influence that stretches into the upper echelons of society and are fiercely protective of their secrets, will number around three million by the end of June.
Posted: Dec 27th, 2011
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In a surprise move, sofa retailer DFS announced today they are all set to buck the national trend of economic doom and gloom. The peddler of softwood, foam and velour seating confirmed that plans are well advanced to launch a massive cut price sale. Photographs of disconcertingly small lounging adults and children have been taken and advertising space has already been booked to carry uplifting messages of substantial savings across the range of comfortable armchairs, and two and three seaters, some in leather.
Posted: Dec 27th, 2011
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‘In the old version you never knew if the crab was coming or going, so this is a considerable breakthrough for crustacean technology. However, we have had to compromise the design with a rear-view mirror so they can get used to new methods of navigation.’
Posted: Dec 26th, 2011
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