Retailers up and down the internet have reported a busy Christmas Day as people looked for another way to avoid prolonged contact with loved ones. It is thought that in the modern world of ever decreasing attention spans, most people can tolerate 1 hour 30 minutes of interaction with humans before needing to check Facebook and Twitter, and spend money they haven’t got online.
Posted: Dec 26th, 2011
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‘All we are asking for is a fair draw for the presents,’ continued the shepherd. ‘It’s the same story every year. We wrap up a lamb, struggle down the green hillside to visit the baby and stick our secret Santa present under the manger. But invariably we end up leaving with nothing other than some cow crap on our Jesus sandals.’
Posted: Dec 25th, 2011
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Joe and Paula Western decided to set aside their differences on Christmas day and play a game of football in no-mans land, the area between the house and the garden shed where Joe now sleeps.
Posted: Dec 24th, 2011
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It is alleged a character in the popular soap is to enjoy a quiet Christmas devoid of the usual abject misery.
Posted: Dec 23rd, 2011
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Much-loved actress and comedian Julie Walters, for eight years the voice of Lloyds TSB, is to become, literally, a national treasure. Almost. The ailing bank has been forced to sell an 85% in the Smethwick-born artiste to HM Government, making her the first actress to undergo near-total nationalisation. She is currently valued at £9.73 million.
Posted: Dec 23rd, 2011
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