In response to TUC claims that UK workers racked up almost 2 billion hours of unpaid overtime during 2011, the Employers Association has published their own report, showing that this is more than balanced out by the amount of people who do absolutely nothing every day.
According to the TUC’s figures 5.3 million workers regularly work an average of 7.2 hours of unpaid overtime a week. The Employers Association’s figures however show that over 10 million workers often spend up to 30 hours a week ‘Dicking about on the internet, checking Facebook on their phone, or just having a bit of a chat, while desperately trying to look busy’.
‘That’s before we even get started on the idiots who actually create work every time they decide they can be bothered to try and do something productive.’ explained spokesman Jeremy Tomlinson, ‘The average idiot in an office can create approximately 75 hours of work for other people, unpicking and correcting all of their cock-ups, during a standard 40 hour week.’
The report finds that around a third of the UK workforce abuse their employers’ trust, resulting in businesses forking out up to 7 billion hours’ pay for the pleasure of their company, and says this is a problem that desperately needs addressing.
‘These people may be hungover, having personal problems outside of work that stop them concentrating, or may just be work-shy gits.’ continued Mr Tomlinson, ‘There are a variety of factors that contribute to it, and employers need to be empathetic, understanding, and tolerant, without compromising the viability of their business. But something certainly needs to be done.’
‘Now, if you’ll excuse me I was just in the middle of a game of poker on Facebook.’