A Berkshire man was shocked recently when he employed the services of a local painting and decorating company, only to discover that the men carrying out the work were everybody’s favourite 80s TV fugitives, the A-Team.
‘The advert said ‘If you have a problem, if no one else can help, if you need some shelves putting up, a little bit of painting doing or your windows cleaning, maybe you can hire… the A-Team’,’ said Jack Robinson. ‘I called to enquire about having my kitchen ceiling painted and a couple of doors hung, but later agreed to have my car armour-plated too. They gave me a great knock-down price when they discovered I had all the materials they’d need in my garage – two paint tins and a ball of string.’
2011 was a tough year for small businesses everywhere, and the soldier-of-fortune business was hit especially hard, with the number of women whose husbands were kidnapped in a land dispute with Mexican drug barons falling for the twelfth consecutive year, forcing the A-Team to look for alternative employment.
‘I thought the ad was just a joke at first,’ continued Jack. ‘In fact I still had my doubts when I saw B.A. trying to shave a bit off the top of the door with a chisel, but I asked him if it was the right tool for the job and he told me, ‘I ain’t getting no plane, fool!’.
Since Jack’s experience others have also come forward to confirm that the four former members of a crack commando unit, once imprisoned for a crime they didn’t commit and still wanted by the US government, had indeed swapped the Los Angeles underground for the small ads section of a local newspaper in Reading.
‘Mind you, they’re a very different sight to their heyday,’ explained another satisfied customer. ‘B.A’s trademark bling is gone after he sold it to cash4gold, Hannibal’s expensive Cuban cigars have been replaced with roll-ups, and the four of them turned up crammed into a VW Caddy instead of their famous van. They’d painted a red stripe down the side, but it just wasn’t the same. Still, they did a great job building me a shed, even though it was actually supposed to be a bookcase. Hannibal just stood there supervising saying, ‘I love it when the planks come together.’
Surprisingly this is not the first time that Berkshire residents have unexpectedly come across an 80s TV character who has fallen on hard times. ‘I took my car in for a service a few years back and the bloke that did it was that Michael Knight,’ said Jack. ‘Don’t get me wrong, it was nice to have a car that could drive itself back from the pub, but it kept criticising my fashion sense and telling me I should get a light perm and a medallion.’
Vertically Challenged Giant (with hat-tips to waylandsmithy and JonnyJP)