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Woman awakes from coma as Danny Glover

destined to spend far too much time on the toiletThe family of a Bristol woman who awoke from a six-year coma as film actor Danny Glover expressed their surprise at her transformation today. Doreen Peacock, 27, slipped into a coma in January 2006 when a heavy roll of carpet fell on her in her workplace. When she emerged from unconsciousness earlier this week, she awoke as Glover, 65, the star of the Lethal Weapon film series.

‘It’s great to have her back with us,’ said Mrs Peacock’s husband Martin, a tax inspector. ‘We’d been holding out hope for years that she would come back to us. But I have to admit, it might take a while for me to get used to sleeping every night next to the star of such hit films as Predator 2 and the 2012.’

The Peacocks’ seven-year-old daughter Katie said: ‘Why is mummy a black man?’ Mrs Peacock said she is hoping to take a break of several months before returning to work. Stroking her new moustache and speaking in Mr Glover’s deep Californian voice, she commented ‘No-one is more surprised than me, believe me! I’d heard of people waking from comas with different accents, or speaking new languages, but this is something else.

‘I’d always wondered what it would be like to be a man, and now I know. It’s just I’d never have imagined it would be Danny Glover, the renowned film actor and immigrants’ rights activist.’

Mrs Peacock added that she felt less interested in continuing her previous spousal duties, and more in fighting crime and jumping of the roofs of buildings. ‘That is, until I feel too old for this shit,’ she said. Mr Peacock said: ‘I’ll be completely honest, I’m already getting tired of her always talking about her friend Mel Gibson – it’s ‘Mel this, Mel that’ at the moment, and it’s putting a bit of a strain on our marriage.

‘I’ve tried telling her she is the victim of a rare medical occurrence in which she has morphed into a popular American actor, but she doesn’t really listen, and instead points a fake gun at my head.’

Dr Henrik Wirths, professor of celebrity transmogrification at the Freie Universität of Berlin, said: ‘Incidences of comatose patients transforming into movie stars are incredibly unusual, this being the first recorded case, and I feel the last 30 years of my research and teaching have finally been vindicated.

‘What I find most interesting in this case is that a young white British woman has shape-shifted into the middle-aged black American star of so-so western Silverado, a film which would have been shot before she was even born. I would urge governments to increase funding post-haste into further research of celebrity transmogrification.

‘There is much work to be done, much of it involving adding confusing entries to IMDB.’

hughesroland

with help from Thisisalloneword

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Posted: Jan 17th, 2012 by Guest

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