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Continued male one-upmanship leads to first ever ‘stag year’

some things need proper, considered celebrationThe growing trend amongst men for ever more elaborate and spectacular stag-do celebrations has finally led to what is believed to be the first ever stag-year.

When Kevin Lucas from Northampton decided to get married his mind immediately turned to the stag-do. Determined that it was going to be better than any he had been on previously, he left his wife-to-be in charge of the wedding arrangements and got straight to work on planning something memorable.

‘A few of my mates got married the year before and the stag-dos were all pretty impressive. One was kind of activity based and we got to shoot each other in the face with paint pellets, try to run each other off a Go-Kart track, then go out and get hammered and end up in a strip club,’ said Kevin, who denies he’s over-competitive.

‘Another one was a long weekend in Budapest, and a third was a whole week in Vegas. I thought Vegas was going to take some topping but then I hit on the idea of a stag-year. I spoke to my boss and managed to arrange taking a sabbatical from work for a year to make it possible, they seemed quite keen on the idea for some reason. Then I invited all of my friends and got cracking.’

Unfortunately for Kevin, despite negotiating a discounted rate in a Northampton hotel for 365 consecutive nights, the cost of £25,000 per head for the event proved somewhat prohibitive, and none of his friends could join him for the whole thing.

‘Of course it would have been better if I hadn’t spent so much of the stag-do on my own, but I understand that people can’t stop everything at the drop of a hat and come and get pissed for a year. People just came by whenever they could to have a few drinks, shave my eyebrows off, or pick me out of a skip, whatever they had time for,’ continued Kevin. ‘I managed alright by myself for the most part, but tying yourself to a lamppost is harder than you’d think. I did get the hang of it after about the 60th time, but it was really tricky at first.’

Kevin’s fiancé sadly decided during their 12 months apart that getting married was not the right thing to do, and the couple have since broken up.

‘It’s disappointing that I’ve ended up single, broke, and with serious liver damage, but I think everybody that was present will agree that it was the best stag-do ever – even if that is only me. The most awkward part of it all is that the transvestite stripper that I kept hiring for myself as a surprise now thinks I’ve got a thing for her….err, him, and won’t stop calling me.’

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Posted: Jan 26th, 2012 by Vertically Challenged Giant

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