‘Pesky’ jurors jailed for net-based research as fairground villain walks free
Fred Jones, Daphne Blake, Velma Dinkley, and Norville ‘Shaggy’ Rogers were found guilty of contempt of court after utilising a contraption consisting of nets, levers, pulleys and trap doors – described by a Crown Court judge as ‘entrapment, plain and simple’
Bill Kreislovski, a 47 year old fairground caretaker from Southend, had all charges dropped by the judge, after the extra-curricular research was revealed by a fellow juror. Upon hearing that he was to be acquitted, Mr Kreislovski said ‘Yes, it’s true; it was all an elaborate hoax to scare customers away. Then I could have inherited the fairground myself. And I would have got away with it if it hadn’t have been for those pesky meddlin’ jurors and their infeasibly complicated Heath Robinson-influenced trapping techiniques … wait a minute, I have got away with it – brilliant!’
Kreislovski went on to confess to several other offences that had been uncovered by the jurors’ initial internet research – including faking 9/11, membership of the Illuminati and being a 12 foot shapeshifting lizard – before walking free.
The jurors deny ever having met prior to the trial. But speculation is rife that they may be members of the same religious sect; all four have been photographed wearing wristbands featuring the inscription ‘What Would Scooby Doo?’
Posted: Jan 30th, 2012 by Skylarking
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