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‘Pesky’ jurors jailed for net-based research as fairground villain walks free

In an unprecedented move, four members of the same jury have been given nine month prison sentences for using cartoon sleuthing techniques to research the accused, whilst still on trial.

Fred Jones, Daphne Blake, Velma Dinkley, and Norville ‘Shaggy’ Rogers were found guilty of contempt of court after utilising a contraption consisting of nets, levers, pulleys and trap doors – described by a Crown Court judge as ‘entrapment, plain and simple’

Bill Kreislovski, a 47 year old fairground caretaker from Southend, had all charges dropped by the judge, after the extra-curricular research was revealed by a fellow juror. Upon hearing that he was to be acquitted, Mr Kreislovski said ‘Yes, it’s true; it was all an elaborate hoax to scare customers away. Then I could have inherited the fairground myself. And I would have got away with it if it hadn’t have been for those pesky meddlin’ jurors and their infeasibly complicated Heath Robinson-influenced trapping techiniques … wait a minute, I have got away with it – brilliant!’

Kreislovski went on to confess to several other offences that had been uncovered by the jurors’ initial internet research – including faking 9/11, membership of the Illuminati and being a 12 foot shapeshifting lizard – before walking free.

The jurors deny ever having met prior to the trial. But speculation is rife that they may be members of the same religious sect; all four have been photographed wearing wristbands featuring the inscription ‘What Would Scooby Doo?’

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Posted: Jan 30th, 2012 by Skylarking

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