Claimants to wear benefit caps

An early prototype of the benefits cap. Abject failure.

The Work & Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith has said he remains fully committed to pushing through controversial plans for all state benefits claimants to be required to wear benefits caps, after a series of defeats in the House of Lords.

I’m on benefits – are you? and Not Working, Just Claiming are the first two  slogans that Mr Duncan Smith has announced for the compulsory headgear. ‘The so called benefits caps are a way to provide low cost headgear to the needy during the winter months, and at the same time provide important information about the wearer,’ explained Mr Duncan Smith. ‘They also mark out those who are not in jobs from the working poor, whose menfolk will be allowed to wear traditional doffable flat caps of their choosing without slogans.’

In a private financing deal that has proved controversial, the Daily Mail will finance the caps, and Mr Duncan Smith’s department will supervise their compulsory wearing. Every Friday the Mail will publish a special foldable pull out double page with instructions to make the paper

hats, and how to identify rich people to whom they should be doffed on sight. ‘It’s a brilliant scheme that will cost the taxpayer nothing. Not only will they be providing free hats, they’ll also be offering a grounding in origami – which might lead to job opportunities,’ Mr Duncan Smith explained. ‘Fingers crossed anyway, we’ve got no better ideas.’

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Posted: Feb 1st, 2012 by

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