Football fans are bracing themselves at the thought of former England captain John Terry playing naked. This has been advocated as a compromise in a situation where free trade rules allow him to carry on playing but no-one wishes the colour of their shirt to be associated with him.
‘Blue and yellow are out, because they are Chelsea’s home and away colours, and red and white rules out England,’ explained Martin Fairnsbairns of solicitors FC De Reya. ‘In fact, almost any recognisably football-oriented kit of any colour with the possible exception of pink, may suggest any side, including, indeed, Hereford United.’
With the alternative of a tartan jock strap and turquoise socks ruled out as impractical, an FA spokemsan said that there was no solution for Terry other than to play stark naked. ‘Besides, it’ll save time if any of his teammates’ girlfriends pop by after the game.’