Hilary Acacia Avenue (nee Bingham) from Blackburn yesterday celebrated getting hitched to her three-bedroom terraced house.
‘I can’t believe it’s all happened so quickly,’ said Mrs Acacia Avenue. ‘I only asked 14 Acacia Avenue to marry me on Christmas Day, then we got straight on the phone to the registry office who managed to get us a cancellation.’
It is believed that Hilary suffers from Objectophilila. However, Mary Harper, 47, who lives at 17 Acacia Avenue told us: ‘The selfish trollop only married it so that it didn’t get repossessed. She owes £15,000 in mortgage arrears. I feel so sorry for any rooms they end up having.’
Although Mr and Mrs Acacia Avenue won’t be having a honeymoon, the couple had a successful first night together as a married couple. Hilary said: ‘We didn’t go all the way, but I did get damp in the back bedroom.’