Whales and Dolphins are becoming increasingly stressed and agitated at the lack of availabilty of superfast broadband connections in their locales. For decades scientists have known that cetaceans have communicated over long distances, but only recently has their eager adoption of the internet come to naturalists’ attention.
Now, researchers have measured stress hormones in whale faeces, and found they rose with the lack of access to online shopping, Twitter, Facebook and Netflix, Lovefilm and iTunes. ‘OK, let’s be honest here’ said Sir David Attenborough. ‘It’s not about communication or cetacean social networks. They are mainly looking at whale porn.’