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‘Flowers would have been nice’, sniffs Abu Qatada

While enjoying his release from prison and the opportunity to catch up on the daytime television shopping channels, Abu Qatada has revealed his sense of disappointment in affairs of the heart. ‘I’m loving the chance to spend some ‘me’ time and pamper myself”, he told our reporter via two yoghurt pots and a piece of string – the only communication medium permissible under his bail conditions – ‘but I’m really missing my cellmate, Farringdon Phil’.

Reports suggest that Qatada, or ‘Bu-bu’ as he is affectionately known to his partner in crime, spent his first Valentine’s Day inside hiding under his bunk bed. However he subsequently became an enthusiastic participant. ‘My reintroduction to ‘pipe bombing’ was a revelation”, he said, “but now I’m gutted not to have had a card – it seems we were just shi’ites that passed in the night .

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Posted: Feb 16th, 2012 by Guest

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