Missing Heir to the 17th Baronetcy George ‘Gideon’ Osborne is dead or hiding somewhere in Africa according to reports. Osborne, usually prominent amongst London’s social and political elite, hasn’t been seen for some time.
‘George is an inveterate gambler with other people’s money,’ said aristocrat watcher Miles Moreland. ‘He’s been telling his set that he’s dealing with his debts, but it’s believed they’ve increased, so he may have taken fright and decided to end it all or make a run for it.’
But one of Osborne’s rich associates, David Cameron, said he expected the missing heir to turn up next month in London. ‘George wouldn’t flee to Africa because it would play havoc with his pasty-white complexion,’ he said, while others hinted that a long stay for Osborne in the African tropics was inconceivable as he only likes English coke.
Meanwhile, police are investigating reports that a man answering to Osborne’s description has been seen folding towels at Selfridge’s.