Rafa Benitez, one of the bookies’ favourites for the vacant Chelsea manager job, has today been sacked by the club before he was appointed.
‘We took this action to save everyone time and money,’ explained a spokesman for Chelsea Football Club. ‘We hope that it will help to avoid the inevitable frenzy of media speculation that would have followed a run of poor results following Mr Benitez’s arrival.’
Having sacked its not-yet-appointed next manager, Chelsea has also announced that it hopes to adopt a system of weekly guest managers as popularised by television panel shows ‘Never Mind The Buzzcocks’ and ‘Have I Got News For You’.
The first guest managers to be confirmed are Roberto Di Matteo and Mayor of London Boris Johnson, whose ‘bumbling buffoon’ style the club hopes should suit Fernando Torres down to the ground.
Ian and Curbie Firetank