Best Reply After Caution prize won by Belfast plasterer

The annual ‘Best Reply After Caution’ prize has been won by unemployed Belfast plasterer Paul Lavery, 24, following his arrest for dangerous driving.

‘Suck the back of my big, hairy ball-bag, you black bastard,’ Mr Lavery told police.

‘It really was superb,’ said Joseph Campbell, solicitor and chairman of the award panel. ‘I’ve been involved in the criminal justice system for over 30 years now and his reply was up there with the best. That it was improvised and all his own work makes it even more impressive.’

‘Wonderful’, said magistrate Lady Margaret Wood, 62, and also a member the award panel. ‘I’m almost tempted to take Paul up on his – excuse my French – bleedin’ ball-bag offer.’

Mr Lavery is keen to build on his success and from his prison cell is putting the finishing touches to a remark ready for his next arrest.

‘I want it to be a real challenge for the filth,’ Mr Lavery said, ‘with a bit of a literary feel to it. Perhaps a one word riposte from D H Lawrence might do it.’


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Posted: Mar 20th, 2012 by

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