Me and my Pasty: This week, David Cameron
“People may sometimes say I’m out of touch with the common man, but let me tell you I recently had a parsty which was absolutely delicious, with carrots and potato and, I was assured, packed choc full with nutritious swan meat.”
“Whilst the flavour lingers on my taste buds I cannot quite recall the location of the parsty collector who sourced the item for me, but I’m sure it was somewhere quite gritty and real, such as The North, a blacksmith’s or a bus stop.”
“No, of course, it was probably on the platform of Coronation Street station, somewhere cobbled, or a colliery-themed restaurant. I certainly recall wearing clogs and carrying a pig under my arm. And moaning to the vendor about all me flippin’ rickets.”
“But to fully appreciate one’s parsty, it must be served in the manner of the common man, with a side order of mushing peas, a basic jus and a glass of modest claret. As I sat there with some bloody nice urchins, waiting for the butler to carve, I remember being told of a quaint old working man’s custom, which was to blow on it, as it dropped the price by about a fifth.”
“Obviously, taxing a popular ‘amuse bouche’ is a sensitive subject to those who can’t wait for them to cool down before they eat them, but who in their right mind can persist in protest when the assorted pastries arrive, with some gentleman’s relish, and a right ol’ mug of Rosie Lee.”
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Posted: Mar 29th, 2012 by waylandsmithy
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