Following the Government’s announcement that Army and RAF service personnel had been ready to perform the work of striking tanker drivers, it was revealed their training will now also encompass all of the traditional ‘stroppy leftie’ professions left in the country.
Members of the armed forces are ready to step into the classrooms of any striking teachers although ministers will urge them to keep to a minimum phrases such as ‘You ‘orrible little shower of shit.’
Similarly a series of makeshift battlefield hospitals are now ready to be deployed at short notice outside NHS establishments throughout the country.
Cabinet Office Minister Francis Maude said, ‘I’m delighted our brave servicemen and women are prepared to become factory workers, firemen or public service workers in order to defeat the militant commie bastard unions.
‘And I’m sure in turn the military will thank us they won’t have to go down mines or make steel, due in no small part to the sterling work of previous Conservative governments.’