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Grand National organisers promise ‘humane treatment’ for injured jockeys

Organisers of the Bostick Grand National today promised an end to scenes of desperate suffering which last year blighted the nation’s favourite exhibition of high-speed horse mangling, by ensuring ‘prompt and painless’ treatment for all injured jockeys.

While horses have long been afforded immediate aftercare of the highest quality, the event has come in for criticism in the past for failing to uphold its duty of care to injured riders- whose intricate coloured pyjamas offer their tiny bodies scant protection against a misplaced hoof or upended galette de viande de cheval.

After the shocking scenes last year in which three jockeys were unseated at the first fence and then trampled into a paste by the entire following field, organisers have promised each jockey their own Army-trained Pain Removal Technician, who will track their designated target around the course using a long-range laser sight.

Grumblechops

Should a horse fall or lose his rider, the expectation is that the ‘ultimate pain relief’ could be delivered via a high-powered rifle before an unseated rider even hits the ground.

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Posted: Apr 14th, 2012 by Guest

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