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Doctors unite to fight obesity with ridicule

no coach parties allowed in waiting roomOrganisations representing nearly every doctor in the UK have come together to promote ridicule as the most effective measure in combating obesity.

Royal Medical Colleges spokesman Prof Terence Stephens said: ‘So much has been tried in the past; weight management clinics, health promotion campaigns, food labelling, etc and yet still more and more people are obese.’

 However, when researchers studied nearly 40 years worth of televised football matches they soon discovered that good old fashioned ridicule was the most successful intervention. ‘Thousands of people shouting phrases such as ‘you fat bastard’, ‘who ate all the pies?’ and ‘have you ever seen your dick?’ seemed to be incredibly effective in raising weight awareness issues in those with a Body Mass Index above 30, be they players or fans.’

In addition, the team found that increasing the levels of bile, hatred and invective directed at the patient, particularly if accompanied by pointing and making balloon faces, helped to make the message more effective.

By encouraging every health professional to shout tried and tested phrases during patient contact Professor Stephens is convinced this could be the ‘silver bullet’ the fight against obesity needs. ‘With time in consultations limited doctors really need to get the point and deliver cutting edge advice’ he said. ‘The ‘you fat bastard’ campaign will finally get people get the message that eating less and exercising more could be a good idea.’

He added: ‘We really want the public to play their part too. If every schoolchild can tease a fat classmate, if every worker can ridicule a fat colleague and if every married couple can point out unflattering love handles we can really get this sorted once and for all. Granted this could lead to increases in eating disorders, mental health problems and suicides but you can’t make a low fat omelette without breaking a few reduced cholesterol eggs’.

Mandy Lifeboat

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Posted: Apr 17th, 2012 by Guest

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