Olympic sprinter Usain Bolt has today announced his ambition to beat the world record time for completing the 100m immigration queue at Heathrow Airport. The current record of 2 hours 15 minutes and 23.6 seconds was set in 1972 by Mavis Harding returning from a Saga holiday after three people in front of her died while waiting for passport control.
‘With strategies such as having my passport ready, no hand luggage weighing me down and a lunge at the line, I believe I can go sub 2 hours 13,’ a confident Bolt told reporters. ‘I’ll be making this record breaking attempt in the next week so that with the commute through London, I can make sure I am in Stratford in time for the opening ceremony.’
However, the World Anti-Doping Agency is worried about ensuring that any record attempt is not tainted by the use of performance enhancing drugs. ‘Due to the length of time it takes to get through immigration in the UK, any banned substances will be completely out of his system by the finish line.’