Home Secretary Theresa May was said to be ‘overwhelmed’ with offers from the public to help at the protest march planned for Thursday in central London. ‘It really does show that deep down, the people of this country still feel strongly about law and order on our streets,’ she said today.
‘We’ve had offers of help from hundreds of the kids involved in the London riots last year, significant interest from the black community, and most encouragingly, from some Islamic fundamentalist groups. We’ve even had an undertaking from Rebekah Brooks that she’ll be leading the peacekeeping measures riding her retired police horse. With this level of help from the public, I’m confident that the event will pass off without any problems at all.’
A spokesman for the general public added: “Why should the boys in blue have all the fun when it comes to law enforcement? It’s amazing what you can buy on the internet. I’ll be ready with my tasers and my father’s old cricket bat. My white van’s full of other stuff I couldn’t mention without getting into trouble with, well, the police I suppose…’