Nokia were today trumpeting the launch of the N0M8s ‘Smart Human’ device. The much-hyped device, which is implanted in the skull, is being lauded as a major advance in fourth generation wireless communication. The N0M8s will enable the users to fulfil most of the functions of existing phones.
Customers who have the N0M8s implant will be capable of remembering dates, doing basic calculations, and talking to other ‘end users’ that are in range. ‘It’s just so intuitive!’ gushed Nokia’s Chief Executive, Stephen Eldon at the launch. ‘Users can also communicate with the aid a special ‘ink-stylus’ on a disposable woodchip kindle device we have called ‘paper.’
A navigation app called a ‘Nokia A-Z’ is to follow later in the year and is believed to operate without the aid satellite positioning
Beta testing is said to be encouraging, though Eldon admits that some users to make the transition. ‘Some testers have struggled to string together a sentence of over 160 characters. And one young man was so embarrassed by having to ‘download’ porn in magazine form at our store, he spent the next ten minutes shouting ‘clear history’’