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Mugging targets urged to carry more cash to avoid ‘social death’

It’s a nightmare scenario – to be violently robbed and murdered and then have the tabloids scream: ‘Socialite killed for 85p and a TV Guide.’

Image consultant Jane Smith says such luridly impecunious headlines are not the only concern for social climbers murdered for less than £5: ‘You might get close friends and some family at the funeral – but the floating mourner will spurn the affair for fear of cheap pasties and bad wine at the after-match. It will be social death too.’

Appearance is, as ever, also crucial says Ms Smith: ‘CCTV is ever present – imagine the embarrassment of being caught on film lying in a pool of blood while wearing last season’s outfit – the one you said you wouldn’t be seen dead wearing. If a would-be robber then spurns your Rolex because it is fake, and can’t remove your rings because you ate that extra helping of ice cream, your humiliation would be complete.’

Yikes

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Posted: May 13th, 2012 by Yikes

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