Local Lothario celebrates eighth full year of paternity leave
Serial womaniser Dave Grobbelaar is celebrating today, after securing his eighth full year of paternity leave following the positive identification of another of his progeny. Grobbelaar (27), from Liverpool, received the happy news via text message from current girlfriend Sandy Twittock, whilst feeling up her sister in the snug of The Philanderer’s Arms.
Confirmed father of around 15% of the local infant population, Grobbelaar was recently granted his own parking space at the Tarbuck Memorial Antenatal Clinic.
Mr Grobbelaar, who nominally works for the Refuse Collection Department, believes the leave is critical to establish a bond with each new baby.
Liverpool’s libertine is hopeful of maintaining his unbroken string of paternity leave right up until retirement age. However a reflective Mr Grobbelaar admits it can be hard work: ‘Being a serial father can really take it out of you’ he declared whilst furtively checking his iPhone ‘but the paternity leave certainly helps with that. I spend at least half an hour with each of my newborns, they bring me so much joy, plus they’re brilliant for pulling fit nurses at the hospital.’
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Posted: May 15th, 2012 by waylandsmithy
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