Kate Middleton signs for ‘Disney Princesses’
The Disney corporation today revealed that they have signed Kate Middleton for the popular ‘Disney Princesses’ series. She now joins Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Rapunzel and that Red Indian one that wasn’t really a princess but what the hey.
Middleton beat off some stiff opposition, including Katie Price, a wire coat hanger and Hello Kitty, whose agents were said to be demanding a seven figure transfer fee.
Disney has confirmed that the Duchess will undergo a number of cosmetic alterations for the post, including a 9 inch neck extension and foot binding. Her eyes have been prized open into a look of permanent wonderment. She is also receiving tuition in how to faint if she sees a boy take his top off.
Disney spokesman Dan Hogston says he believes she is perfect for the part. ‘Middleton can already make adult women feel like crap about their body shape. Now she can make a whole new generation jealous and resentful; if only we could stop her from shopping at Primark.’
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Posted: May 16th, 2012 by waylandsmithy
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